


Maybe I Should Stop And Start Confessing

by larrysfootballfairy



Category: One Direction (Band), Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Nervousness, Niall/Hailee Friendship, One Shot, Pining, Supportive Liam, Ziam is only mentioned sorry, drunk Shawn, it's a lot more nervousness than actual angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 11:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15773436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrysfootballfairy/pseuds/larrysfootballfairy
Summary: “Why do I have to fall in love with the only straight member of One Direction?”At his plea, Shawn laid his head within his hands, making it difficult to hear as Liam snorted, “You think there’s a straight member of One Direction?”“What?”“Nothing. It’s just, you should really sit down with Niall and tell him the truth. You’re miserable like this and you both deserve to be happy.”or Shawn gets drunk and upset after being asked about Niall and Hailee’s ‘relationship’. Liam is there to listen. And maybe a simple phone call can clear everything up.





	Maybe I Should Stop And Start Confessing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> I have absolutely nothing against Niall and Hailee being together, nor do I want to imply they’re anything but a real couple. This is simply a figment of my imagination. 
> 
> The title is obviously from Shawn's song There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back, even though the rest of the song doesn't really fit the story.
> 
> I have absolutely no idea about timelines and events, so I just included things where Niall and Shawn spend time together (like the AMAs or The Biggest Weekend) but it doesn’t necessarily mean it was actually at the same time in the story as it was in real life (if that makes any sense). In this the AMAs where Niall and Shawn met were a few months ago.
> 
> A million "thank you"s to my beta, the wonderful Hannah (AFangirlFantasy) for turning my mess into this story and correcting all my grammar fails. You’re a gift and this wouldn’t be the same without you!

Maybe Shawn was a little drunk. Scratch that, Shawn was really drunk, and he had no idea how it happened.

It might have had something to do with the interview. He was quite upset afterward, which led to the first glass of champagne he downed, which soon lead to another. There also had been a guy with jello-shots, who might have been a little too generous in handing them out. And of course there was Liam, who definitely had an expensive bottle of Vodka to share. 

Okay... maybe Shawn did know how the whole, “getting drunk,” thing had happened. But it wasn’t his fault! It was Niall’s fault or maybe Hailee’s, and completely the interviewer’s, which was what he was trying to explain to Liam.

Yes, the interviewer.

That’s what he’s sticking with as he tells Liam, “And then they asked me about Niall, and I was so happy because I can talk about Niall for hours. He’s so cute. He was already cute with the blond hair and now it’s brown and fluffy and makes him even more handsome. And his Irish accent? It’s so adorable the way it gets so much thicker when he talks about something he’s excited about - like golf. How can anyone be that excited about golf and still be hot? It’s so boring, y’know? Niall took me to the golf course once, and he stood behind me and showed me how to swing and stuff. That wasn’t so bad.”

Forgetting that they’re at the VMAs afterparty, Shawn’s only brought back to earth by the sound of Liam clearing his throat. He might have rambled a little too much and gone slightly off topic. It’s just, Niall was his favorite person to talk about at the moment. Although, wasn’t there something else Shawn had initially wanted to talk about? Oh yeah, the interview!

“Anyway, instead of asking about me and Niall, he asked about Niall and Hailee.” He was aware that he sounded like a whiny child, seconds away from stomping their foot on the ground. 

“Okay,” Liam hesitated, he didn’t seem to understand the importance of what happened to Shawn, “I mean they’ve just started publicly dating and you’re a close friend of Niall– ”

“I’m his best friend!” He interrupted immediately.

Liam chuckled. “Not sure I agree with that, mate. I mean, we were in a band together for years.” Why was Liam always such a smartarse?

“Liam,” Shawn drawled out in a painfully dramatic whine, “That’s not the issue here. Why won’t you help me?”

“Well, why don’t you tell me what your issue is exactly?” Now that was the Liam he was looking for! Someone who could listen to his problems, someone he could trust, someone he could cry on. Liam’s shoulders in fact, looked quite nice for a good cuddle.

“The issue,” Shawn teasingly mimicked, as he imitated Liam, “is that apparently Niall is now dating Hailee without even telling me. Last month he was still cuddling with me on the couch while watching Netflix, and now he’s out there in some parking lot kissing her!” 

Shawn was shocked at his outburst. He couldn’t believe he just revealed to Liam how close the two had actually gotten over the past few months. He hadn’t told anyone that. It had been their little secret, ever since the AMAs, where they first met and later hung out.  
Shawn couldn’t remember ever hitting it off that good with anyone before. Niall had been seated next to him, and immediately the boy started telling embarrassing stories about the other celebrities around them to get Shawn to relax. During the award show, when Shawn was beginning to panic again, Niall kept him distracted so he wouldn’t get too anxious. And by the end, they both decided to ditch the parties, and instead, go to Niall’s place where they spent the whole night talking until they fell asleep on the couch. Together. 

It became a regular occurrence after that, though nothing more than cuddling ever happened. But, it had started to feel like they were on their way to something. Something more. That’s what Shawn had thought at least. Apparently not Niall since he had gotten himself rather comfortable with a girl instead.

Liam tried to comfort him, “Oh no, is that what you’re upset about? But– ”

But Shawn knew he was already way too drunk and way too invested to listen to Liam now, as he starts asking, “Why would you even kiss someone in a parking lot?” Despite saying that, Shawn thought about being papped kissing in a parking lot, and realized that he wouldn’t mind if it was Niall kissing him for the whole world to see.

“Why couldn’t he kiss me in a parking lot?” Suddenly, Shawn felt devastated and fixed his eyes on Liam’s hoping for some clarification “Do you think it’s because of my height?”

That was basically the only difference between Shawn and Hailee. They both had dark brown hair, they were both musicians, they were both friends with Niall, only Hailee was a small fairy and Shawn was a giant. The comparison upset him. What if Niall found him completely unattractive because he was so tall? 

“Most people like that I’m taller than them, but what if Niall doesn’t? Maybe he wants someone his own height? Maybe he thinks that’s better for kissing? It’s actually not though, if only I could prove that to him. Do you think Hailee would be mad if I tried to kiss her boyfriend and said it would only be for like...a height investigation?”

“A height investigation?” Liam sounded far too amused for Shawn’s liking. This was a serious matter! 

“Yes, a height investigation! Hailee probably wouldn’t understand, she’s way too small to understand anything concerning height. Regardless, I’m taller than her so Niall should like me better. I’m much more practical. For example, if his knee gets bad again, I can carry him around, I’m basically a Disney Prince. She can’t do that. See! I’m much better!” Shawn sounded more self-confident than he felt. Honestly, he felt bad saying mean things about Hailee. It wasn’t her fault that he was a jealous idiot, who had fallen for his best friend. 

“No, no that was mean. She’s actually a nice girl. But...but Niall is mine. I mean he’s not really mine, that’s the whole problem here, Liam. Why doesn’t he want to be with me? Why wouldn’t he want to be with me?”

Liam took Shawn into his arms and gave him a hug as he thought to himself, ‘that poor boy. I remember all too well. Falling in love with your best friend isn’t an unlikely occurrence when it comes to One Direction, now is it?’ Liam smiled, recalling the uncertainty he felt when he first realized he had feelings for Zayn. And with that in mind, there was only one advise Liam could give to Shawn.

“Shawn? Hey, look at me, mate. It’s gonna be fine, okay? You just…you have to talk to Niall about this. That’s the only way to solve anything.”

Shawn huffed, “That’s easy for you to say. You fell in love with Zayn who's also gay and was already in love with you. I mean, that’s what Niall said.” 

At the repetition of Niall’s name in his mouth, his shoulders sagged with grief, “Man, why do I have to fall in love with the only straight member of One Direction?” 

At his plea, Shawn laid his head within his hands, making it difficult to hear as Liam snorted, “You think there’s a straight member of One Direction?”

“What?” 

“Nothing. It’s just, you should really sit down with Niall and tell him the truth. You’re bloody miserable like this and you both deserve to be happy.”

“I can’t,” Shawn said while shaking his head. “He has a girlfriend, he’s happy and I don’t wanna mess everything up.”

“I promise you, you won’t. Just be honest with him, tell him how you feel. Don’t you think he deserves to know?” Again, easy for Liam to say when he had everything work out perfectly for him, with the love of his life.

“But,” Shawn’s voice was so small, he wasn’t sure the Liam would even hear him, “What if he hates me?”

“You really think Niall could hate you? You’re all he talks about. There are times where I wish he would talk about golf instead of you. That’s how much he talks about you!”

Shawn couldn’t help but smile at that. His own friends and family complained just as much, about Niall being mentioned too often. Shawn hadn’t ever considered that it was mutual.

“He really does that?”

“Yeah,” Liam grinned, happy to have finally gotten through to the lovesick boy in front of him, “So will you please promise me you’ll talk to him? Soon?”

Shawn took a deep breath, “I promise, I will try.”

“Good, now come here, mate,”, Liam said as he pulled him into another hug, “It’s all gonna work out.”

Shawn mumbles into his neck, “Thank you, Liam. You’re the best,”

*

Even though Shawn had promised Liam to talk to Niall, he never specified when he would actually do so. Not that he was going to avoid Niall. He just needed time, time to think about what exactly he wanted to say. Maybe he should write a few songs, clear his head a little? At least, that was his plan for the following day when he got home from the party.

That was, until he woke up the next morning to his iPad ringing on the nightstand. As he rolled over, he blindly reached for the device when he saw Niall’s name on the screen, and accepted on autopilot.

“Hey Shawny,” Shawn nearly swooned when he heard Niall’s rough morning voice, he hadn’t heard it in way too long. Thankfully, Niall didn’t notice as he played with his hair, which looked sleep ruffled since he seemed to still be in bed. 

“Hey Ni, it’s kinda early isn’t it?” He hadn’t even had a chance to look at the time yet, his head was a little fuzzy from the party the night before.

“Aw is someone still hungover from last night?” Niall laughed.

“No,” Shawn tried to lie, but couldn’t help laughing along, “How do you even know I was drunk last night?”

Niall calmed down immediately, and there were a few seconds of strained silence until he said, “Liam might’ve called.”

And with that, Shawn was suddenly wide awake and sitting straight. “Wh-what?”

But instead of answering, Niall only nodded and waited for him to continue. Which seemed quite impossible for Shawn. What was he supposed to say? What had Liam even said to Niall in the first place? There was no way of finding out, other than asking. Shawn was even more nervous now than when he had first met Niall. Still, he had to ask, “So, umm...Liam called? Did...did he say anything about me?” He heard his own voice going higher than normal.

Niall coughed, seeming to be nearly as nervous as Shawn was as he avoided any eye-contact. “No, I mean, not really. He told me to call you and talk to you. Said I should set some things straight. However, he did mention you were a little unsettled about my pap walk with Hailee the other day.”

Well, there it was, everything Shawn was afraid of. What kind of rational explanation was there for someone not liking to see his best friend out and about with his girlfriend? Shawn couldn’t think of anything other than the truth. However, he didn’t have to say it yet when Niall called out his name.

He couldn’t remember ever hearing Niall talk this sternly. It troubled him as Niall took a deep breath before he continued, “Shawn, it isn’t real. You know that, right?” 

For a moment, there was absolute silence between them. Shawn was mostly confused, he had expected a gentle letdown, not…whatever this was.

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about? I saw the pictures, and you always talk about her or spend time with her, even when you’re on tour.” 

“Yeah I mean, we are very close friends. That part isn’t a lie, but basically everything else is. The pictures, the hand-holding, the kissing, it was just for the cameras.”  
Shawn’s heart hammered in his chest. He wanted to believe his ears, wanted to believe that there was a chance Niall was really not seeing Hailee. But at the same time, he was worried that it might be just a joke, or that Niall would reveal that he was secretly dating someone else.

“Why though?”

“God, sometimes I forget how young and innocent you are.” Great, exactly the direction Shawn wanted this conversation to go. “It’s for Promo, love. Hailee and I have basically the same fanbase, and a bunch of people already think we’re together. It made sense for our management teams I guess, and it’s better that it’s someone I’m friends with than having some random Model as a beard.”

It still didn’t make much sense to Shawn, why Niall would need a ‘girlfriend’ at all. Wasn’t he more attainable to his fans when they thought they could date him? That’s what he was always told, anyway.

“But, I mean - why would you even need a fake-girlfriend at all?”

Shawn was quite surprised to see Niall blush and not meet his gaze anymore, instead he seemed to find his bedding more and more interesting to look at.

“There’s just been a little too many rumors about, umm...Well, you know the Interview you and I did together at The Biggest Weekend? It just kinda all went a little crazy after that and, and they just thought it would be best to show that they weren’t, you know, true. The rumors, that is. That’s why they made me date a female friend of mine instead.”

“Instead of what? Of showing you dating with me?”

That was unexpectedly sharp even to Shawn’s own ears. But he was so confused, he had never seen Niall this nervous before, rambling on and getting lost in his own words.

They both went quiet, none of them daring to look at the camera. Shawn couldn’t think of anything to say. All he knew was that he wanted Niall here with him. Not necessarily in his bed, even though he wouldn’t mind that either. Mostly though, he wanted Niall here to have a real talk with him, be able to hug him, actually look him in the eyes when he finally had the courage to tell him the truth. Liam said he should be honest with Niall, so that’s what he would do.

“I miss you. So much.” It was only a whisper, but when Shawn braved looking up into the camera again, he was sure Niall had heard him. The other boy smiled at him, his eyes finding Shawn’s with a sparkle of something that definitely wasn’t there before.

“I miss you, too. I wish you were here with me.” Niall whispered back. 

His face was heating up and he couldn’t stop smiling at Niall. They were captivated in each other’s gaze. It seemed as if nothing existed but the two of them. Every word seemed already spoken, every obstacle defeated. It was as if they’d gotten a glimpse into each other’s hearts and saw themselves in there.  
After some time (Shawn couldn’t say if it were seconds, minutes, or centuries that had passed), Niall cleared his throat, bringing them back to reality. Each in their own bed, staring at an iPad. 

“How about when I’m back in LA next week, we’ll talk about all this stuff between us in person?” It was a harsh contrast to the soft glances before, but at least it was a first step onto what Shawn hoped would be the right path.  
“  
Oh okay, yeah. That makes sense.” He tried not to sound too disappointed.

“Shawny?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s just something I’d really like to try, when we talk this out, that I can’t do via a Skype call.”

Shawn’s heart was beating out of his chest again. Something he couldn’t do over a Skype call… Could this really mean…? 

When their eyes met again, they both knew they thought the same thing. And even though there was still a hint of nervousness in their blinding smiles, they knew it would be alright. Yeah, they had a lot of things to talk about, and hopefully some other stuff to try, but that was okay, because they were in this together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this, I hope you liked it and if you did please leave kudos and comments!  
> I might be considering writing a sequel or two, if people like this.  
> And you can also come talk to me on tumblr (larrysfootballfairy), if you want :)


End file.
